Barrel of Monkeys

I'm a total wuss. But, that's not really news to anyone. While I like to think of myself as strong-willed, tough and maybe even a little defiant, I'm also hyper-sensitive, hate conflict and totally fear disapproval. Explain that one. Basically, I was that straight-A student, who never learned how to graciously miss an answer or to not follow directions in a noticeable fashion. I always rebelled within the proper Catholic School boundaries, can you say petition anyone?

So, this morning while getting coffee, I reached for a lid...and of course I selected the lid that was connected to ALL the other lids in the stack like a chain of those plastic barrel monkeys. Yet, unlike barrel monkeys, the lids lack the plastic tails that allow them to remain connected. So, during morning coffee mayhem I ended up dropping at least 17 lids onto the coffee condiment or "accessory" table. I never thought that those little lids had it in them to reproduce the sound of a gong.

Quick-thinking panic situations--not good BEFORE coffee either. But, what is the appropriate response?

The table is kind of sticky and gross from everyone pouring sugar or even worse simple syrup and those two tablespoons of coffee that projectile squirt out the tiny, tiny "sip" opening in the top--no matter how much space you leave. And don't even get me started on the wake of stickiness left behind from trying to insert a straw into an iced drink. I swear the ice cubes plot against me every single time.

Is it OK to throw the lids out? It seems wasteful.

Do I put them back in the stack? That seems dirty.

And what exactly are the politics of lid separation? Like when you get just two lids innocently spooning together, can you separate and put the now lonely lid back in the pile? I mean I know my hands are clean…but what about everyone else's?

It was a lose-lose situation, I knew whatever I did I would receive a disapproving look from the barista. But, I can't disappoint my coffee life-line, it's only Tuesday and there are three more work days to fuel for. And most disturbingly, why am I still thinking about this 12 hours later?

Which leads me to horoscopes. I'm such a wimp that I actually check my horoscope for the next day before I got to bed, so I can brace myself for any trauma, conflict or disappoint that might make me wish I had stayed in bed.

I was once a devout horoscope skeptic and then years ago at a copywriting job I actually had to write them. So, I know that a lot of them are a bunch of clichés strung together with vague adjectives. But then I started checking my horoscopes at the end of day, to test them and make sure they weren't self-fulfilling prophecies and I became an addict. So, tomorrow night I was inspired to move our regular "bored game" night from the usual pub venue to my house, and to change the line-up of players a little bit, so I'm of course a little nervous having a few new folks over to our house of mirrors, and as I'm about to turn off the computer for the night…I checked my horoscope for tomorrow, and here is what is said:

Tonight you might host a social event in your home, KA. You might be a bit nervous at first, wondering if all will go as well as you hope, but your efforts should produce the results you want. You might be introduced to new contacts, which could lead to increased opportunities in your profession. Take a walk after everyone has left. Your mind will be going a thousand miles an hour, and you'll want to clear your head.

I guess life can be a barrel of monkeys.